7 Times Facebook’s “Nearby Friends” Isn’t Really Your Friend

Apr 18 • Facebook, Social Media • 3067 Views

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Ahh, Facebook, the social network that keeps us connected – virtually.  That is, until now.


Yesterday, Facebook announced its latest development, “Nearby Friends.”  Sure to stir privacy concerns everywhere, this opt-in feature allows you to see which of your friends is around you in real time.  Facebook believes this will inspire people to meet-up in person, taking friendships from virtual, to in your face. But what about those friends we have just so we can Facebook stalk them? I don’t necessarily want to meet up with them. And let’s face it, every single one of us has a Facebook ‘friend’ we are not in-touch with anymore, and probably for a good reason.


Here are 7 “Nearby Friends” that are more likely to get you in trouble than inspire a regular rendezvous.


1.  The former boss or coworker. 

Does this situation even need an explanation?  Whether you left due to problems at the company or for a better position elsewhere, this scenario is awkward on many levels.   If you aren’t working together anymore, it’s probably best to leave it that way – lest you have a few drinks and decide to vent about a former boss or drop some office gossip.  Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”


Source: Tumblr


2. The frenemy.

Maybe she’s a one-upper, or maybe you just can’t stand her loud opinions about seemingly everything; either way, an awkward “let’s-pretend-we’re-besties!” run-in isn’t going to make things any better.   Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”

Source: Tumblr


3. The nostalgic acquaintance. 

Perhaps you went to high school or college together back in the day, but that was years ago — something you realize and this acquaintance doesn’t.  Every run-in leads to small talk followed by stories of “the good ol’ days” and nostalgia for times gone by.  And then I remember I’m old and used to be able to party without a three day hangover .   Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”

Source: Tumblr


4. The it-ended-badly ex.

Whether he had insane jealousy over your friendships with other guys or you caught him cheating, this is dangerous territory — especially mixed with alcohol.  I foresee a lot of drunken screaming, beverages thrown in faces, and bitch slaps with this scenario (along with drunken crying on the bathroom floor of the bar for the girls who can’t handle it).  Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”

ended badly ex

Source: Tumblr


5. The it-never-really-ended ex.

…And therefore, with location prompting from Facebook, will probably lead to a late-night booty call.  Fun, but NEVER productive in terms of the relationship. More than likely it will only end up producing the awkward ‘walk of shame’ the next morning. .  Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”

walk of shame
Source: Tumblr


6. That creepy guy from Tinder.

He seemed cute and fun at first, until he got weird and clingy.  He’s the last person you want to see, hang out with, or make aware of your location.  Thanks a lot, “Nearby Friends.”

Source:  WordPress


7. That person you were trying to avoid.

I really just didn’t want to hang out with you, so I’m going to come up with an excuse… any excuse.   Then you find me, and feelings get hurt, and a mess is sure to ensue.  Thanks, “Nearby Friends.”

Source: Replygif


Though Facebook’s “Nearby Friends” feature is sure to connect people in new ways (perhaps create some drama), it also opens the door to an infinite number of terribly awkward situations.  Just as some things are best left unsaid, so are some people best left unseen.  What do you think? Will you use the new “Nearby Friends” feature?  Any other cringe-worthy situations you foresee using “Nearby Friends”?



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