Pinterest has this sneaky way of making me feel like I am actually crafty, which I’m not. But, every time I open up that glorious app and see all the colorful, “easy” DIY projects, I instantly think, “I can TOTALLY do that!”
Sometimes I head straight to Hobby Lobby or Home Depot, depending on the size of the undertaking, and get started ASAP to prevent losing interest and motivation – because I have a huge gift for getting really excited about something and then hating it the next day, all interest is gone, what was I thinking? I hear there are prescriptions for issues like this, but I have a feeling I’d just lose interest in the pills after a few days anyway. So, why waste the time and money?
I’ll actually be pleasantly surprised if I end up finishing this blog, because even as we speak, it’s becoming less and less exciting. Just kidding, that’s a lie. I love writing.
Back to Pinterest. Pinterest has taught me a few very important things about myself and about life in general. One of the greatest teachers of the 21st century, Pinterest constantly reminds me of my shortcomings, false hopes and flat-out lies I’ve been telling myself about, well… me.
1. I cannot, in any way, build anything.
Big or small, wooden or paper. It simply isn’t going to happen. Here’s why: I will go to the craft store and spend an ungodly amount of money on everything I THINK I need. Glitter, nails, wood, a new pink hammer… I get home, pull up the directions, and start deciphering the math, angles, and nail sizes – then, nope. I can’t do this. I’m watching New Girl instead.
2. There is absolutely no way to keep from getting glitter EVERYWHERE!
All those tips and tricks for a clean workspace: BULLSHIT! They don’t work. I am still finding glitter in my kitchen from Christmas projects. I am also still finding the Christmas projects in my kitchen from Christmas.
3. Pinterest has taught me that I have a huge problem with food.
I find myself looking at recipes and pictures of desserts in an almost hypnotic state at all hours of the day. No wonder I’m starving at 2am. I’m staring at a pin for Nutella and Sea Salt Fudge and devoted an entire board exclusively to cupcakes. #weightwatchers
4. I will never make enough money to own the house I am decorating on Pinterest.
An indoor Koi pond? Movie Theater? Three acres of land filled with puppies? Thanks, Pinterest, for making me hate my life.
5. I am nowhere near getting married but my wedding is DONE!
Every square inch of my wedding has been planned and decorated. My dress, the cake, the indoor/outdoor setting, it’s all taken care of. The important part is completed, now I just need the groom.
Which Pinterest projects have made you hate yourself?